Making the Best Decisions We Can
In each given situation, an individual will make the best decision they are capable of making.
We all do things that let others down, disappoint them, or otherwise cause them distress, even when we don't want to cause harm. It's irritating when the person we hurt or let down reacts as if we did it on purpose, since we know we didn't, but it's hard and time-consuming to explain that to them. Yet, we also recognize that when people let us down or injure us, we react in a same fashion, assuming that they did it intentionally. It can't be convenient for us but not for others, and we must accept it.
This perspective accepts the premise that everyone is trying their hardest and helps us resist the urge to attribute malicious motives to others, even when they act in a way that is offensive or hurtful. This outlook encompasses not just other people but also ourselves; there's no point in berating yourself for the things you've said or done that you come to regret. Assuming you're willing to grow from your mistakes, it's time to be more forgiving of yourself and others.
HUMAN BEINGS REACT TO EXPERIENCES, NOT REALITY ITSELF
I regret to inform you that your current interpretation of events is not necessarily correct. Our own histories, beliefs, ideals, and ideologies color our views of the world, making it nearly impossible for any one of us to have a unified understanding of reality.
That's why people react differently when horrible things occur in the world. It's possible for something that hundreds of individuals find insulting or inappropriate to be seen as just OK by thousands of people. This doesn't prove anything about which side is right or wrong; rather, it explains why opinions are so divided: individuals are more influenced by their own experiences than by objective facts.
In other words, those who have had more exposure to the same or similar social and political contexts as the offensive matter may use that exposure to justify the latter's offensiveness, while those who have been shielded from such contexts or who are unfamiliar with the subject may struggle to understand why it would be regarded as offensive. And who, therefore, can state definitively that one version of events is not the truth but the other?
Both views are grounded in the actual world, and both arguments may be found there; nevertheless, neither is a reaction to reality so much as to a person's interpretation of it.
Mimi Rothschild is the Founder and CEO of the Global Grief Institute which provides Certification training programs for Grief Coach, Trauma Coach,End of Life Coach,and Children's Grief Coach. She is a survivor who has buried 3 of her children and her husband of 33 years.She is available for authoritative comments to the press on any issue surrounding thriving after catastrophic loss.MEDIA INQUIRIES:Info@GlobalGriefInstitute.com