You must understand your grief before you can reconcile your sorrow and misery. Loss is often inexplicable. Clarity in your understanding enables you to stop grieving and start healing. In many ways grief compromise and consequences can be likened to a sandstorm in the desert. Anyone who has experienced a horrific sandstorm in the desert unmistakably understands what the storm does to your senses. Your senses need horizons, they need measurements, they need guidelines by which to apply themselves, and in the sand storm there are no horizons and no guidelines. There is no near or far, no low and high, there is only a moving wall of wind and sand that roars around you, overwhelming insanely, shattering and roaring. Your bottomless grief emotions can be compared to a sand storm in the desert of life.
Your Terrible Grief Is Not In the Wind or the Sand It is not the wind or the sand; it is the dread, the panicky choking, the struggle and cowering panic brought on by the unbearable tension, the loss of prospective. Your senses are fragile, delicate, often trustworthy, yet demand prospective. As the desert wind screams and roars piling up sand - having no respect for anything in its path - grief storms through your senses. You are uncertain what you feel. You have feelings of insecurity and doubt. Many will share their advice but all you can hear is the shattering of your life - you feel abandoned. Like the desert after the storm your circumstance feels barren without life.
The Near and the Far of your Grief Your experience in a severe sand storm may differ from mine but you will remember with explicit clarity your first sand storm. You could see the wall of sand coming at you. How near or far was unclear. Except for the howling of the wind, the desert was deadly silent, it felt lifeless. There was an unexplained anxiety with unknown horizons. You had no guidelines. Then it hit roaring around and over you in your nose and ears, eyes and hair, burying you with sand; all your senses felt on overload. Often I have compared the sand storm in the desert with my sandstorm of grief. Perhaps like you, I was not prepared for my grief circumstance; I was not aware how near or far but when it hit I knew.
The Lows and Highs of Your Grief Your grief storm causes undiscovered feelings. You never considered your sadness could be so low, bottomless and encompassing. The loftiness of your hopelessness can reach a undefined height. You feel torn apart. You are on an imaginary grief merry go round, going up and down, round and round and you can't get off. You seek a horizon of peace and calm but you are not able to comprehend or measure it. You want guidelines to recover your stability.
It Is Okay New unexpected horrific happenings in your life can make you feel like you are in a gigantic never ending tornado. The foregoing described feelings and emotions are normal emotions given the consequences of what has caused your grief. It is not only okay but understandable to experience the near and far of the depth of your sorrow. It is natural that as you grieve emotions would reach new lows and highs. These experiences are the emotions of a grieving person. It is okay to feel them. Understanding and yes, accepting the many complications of your grief is the first step on your journey to heal.
A Way Out of Your Storm
As you better understand the breadth and the width of your sorrow there are important guidelines you should consider. Begin to unburden yourself from your grief storm with a determined attitude. Clearly you can't have your old life back. Can you accept a quiet resolution to make new a life of happiness again? Search for ways to discover opportunities for the new you. Seek companionship of others. Although it begins with you the power of two can be greater than one. Tell your story; there is healing and energy in telling. If you lack strength or understanding find professional help. There is a greater power than you; go to your quiet place and seek the comfort and inspiration from communication with God. Recognize that walking through your grief is a journey not a single act - give yourself time but don't hibernate form life. Do your utmost to identify every possible path to heal your grief. Grief almost always requires compromise. Find a middle ground that gives you hope and peace as you progress through your grief journey. You can, you know, find the strength to move through your grief storm.